I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
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