Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
Randomize
