Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
