? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
Randomize
