I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Randomize
