My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
What drink are we having for lunch?
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
Randomize
