He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
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