____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
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