I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Randomize
