You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
Randomize
