My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
Randomize
