Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
