she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Randomize
