i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
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