Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
