so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
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