Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
Randomize
