I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
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