I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
lets start a swedish sibling band together
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
Randomize
