it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
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