i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
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