i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
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