so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
The Olympian is in my bed
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