So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
Did you just see the Batmobile???
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
I smell like Dick and happiness
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
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