Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
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