just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
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