i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
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