We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
