i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
Randomize
