Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
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