Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
i came on her dog
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
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