its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
Randomize
