Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
Randomize
