Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
my poor anus
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
