yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
Randomize
