I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Randomize