he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
Randomize
