My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
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