mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
Do you have feelings for this penis?
Randomize