In the future we'll all be gay
im going to pretend im pregnant so i can eat a lot then i will accidentally fall down the stairs
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
I DEMAND FORESKIN
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
Randomize
