covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
Fuck me I smell like cheese
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
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