I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
Randomize
