I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize
