I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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