So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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