I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
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