we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
Randomize
