So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
Life without a bra equals bliss.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
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