i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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