Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Randomize
