I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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