We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Randomize
