Dude, I was completely sober last night, didn't puke on my shoes, went home with an incredibly beautiful girl, wore a condom, and didn't wake up in a puddle of urine this morning.
hah, sarcasm, classic
omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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