Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
Do you know who changed all my phone contacts into characters from Harry Potter?
He Who Must Not Be Named.
Fuck you.
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
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