Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
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