eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
Randomize
