I skipped work to stalk him.
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
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