this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
found the other keg... it's in the tree
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
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