Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
I can tuck mytits in my pants
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
Randomize
