god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
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