I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
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