To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Randomize