He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
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