Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Randomize
