Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
Everyone says I win the strip club
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
Randomize
