I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
Naked. naked and bneed help.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
