booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
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