I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Randomize
