then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
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