Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
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