It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
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