In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
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