I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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