lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
Randomize